Goat Simulator on PC

“Goat Simulator is a small, broken and stupid game. It was made in a couple of weeks so don’t expect a game in the size and scope of GTA with goats. In fact, you’re better off not expecting anything at all actually. To be completely honest, it would be best if you’d spend your $10 on a hula hoop, a pile of bricks, or maybe a real-life goat.”

With this epic introduction the creators (Coffee Stain Studios) describe Goat Simulator like a completely useless and funny product. This game is basically a small platform with literally crazy animals (and more!) as protagonists, you can use them to walk around with no real purpose simply destroying and licking objects, people, streets and practically whatever you can find on your way. Funny, no? You can get Goat Simulator on PC, Xbox 360, Playstation 3, iOS and the current-gen consoles as well.

My friend Dana (from geekygamingstuff) sent me this game on Steam as a gift before Christmas and I can tell you guys that if you’re having a stressful day and feel like you need a good laugh, this thing is exactly what you need to let it out.

Time to say hi to your new friend!

The main character of this randomness is obviously a cute goat, featuring a long tongue and a not-so-smart expression. The Simulator, actually being a real game, offers tons of senseless achievements you can unlock completing specific operations.

Some examples:

FINALLY: Become the master of the goat tower
Goat Queen: Become the Queen of Goat Ville. Enter the tower and keep moving until you reach the throne.
I am Bread: Are you bread? Go next to the BBQ party, you will find a toaster in there. Headbutt the toaster and a toast will get out of it, lick it and put it on the toaster again. Now go to the street and you will see another toast, lick it and put it on the toaster. Now jump on the toaster and you are done.
Rymdskepp i Rymden: Travel to space! There is a bacon in the garage behind the spawn, pick it up and go to the crops field. In the crops field is 2 circles with a small pole on each, put the bacon you have on the empty pole.
Angel Goat: Do no evil. You are supposed to not hurt anyone for about 5 minutes. Simply stand still doing nothing until it pops up.
Devil Goat: We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell. You will have to go to the sacrifice area and sacrifice 5 ragdolls in there. Using the devil goat mutator and then spawning goats until the ritual starts is the fastest method.
What is its purpose?: Thrash the Goathenge. The location of the Stonehenge is north of the spawn, just knockout all the rocks.
Cardio kills your gains: Drag a person into the treadmill with your tongue. The treadmill is located in the garage of the house behind the spawn. Lick someone and put him/her on the treadmill.
Boulder of Death: Hit the party with the Boulder of Death. There is a huge boulder near the water slides, push the boulder over to where the party is and watch as the filthy humans die.
Dodge This: Make sure the Hillbilly never drives again. Use the same boulder that you used in the previous achievement to destroy the hillbilly racer.
Matress Madness: Bounce 100 times on mattresses within 30 seconds. In the 5th floor of the construction site is ton of mattresses in the floor and the ceiling, jump over and wait until the achievement pops. Just make sure to not get thrown away from the mattresses.

The Mutators

Mutators are selected upon entering the game (on the same screen as the level select) and they can alter the appearance of your goat, give it new physics properties, or special abilities that can be activated with a key (R by default). Multiple mutators can be applied at once, though not all of them work well together.

Unloackable examples:

if you want to know how to get these additional models just follow the gamepedia guide.

Downloadable Content

GoaZ: That’s right – you’ve found the ONLY SURVIVAL GAME ON STEAM that is NOT in Early Access!*

You no longer have to fantasize about being a zombie goat in the middle of a zombie apocalypse, your dreams have finally come true!

*Not totally sure if this is even true, to be honest we didn’t bother to look it up. But it’s still pretty funny, right?

Goat MMO Simulator: Coffee Stain Studios brings next-gen MMO simulation to Goat Simulator as a completely free DLC. You no longer have to fantasize about being a simulated goat in a simulated MMO.

Payday: You’ve crashed into people’s windows with a jetpack, you’ve hit level 101 in the Goat MMO Simulator, you’ve survived the zombie apocalypse. How do you even top that?

Introducing Goat Simulator: PAYDAY, the latest in goat simulation technology. Being a goat has never been this realistic.

Payday 2 – Heist: “This is Going to be a Weird One, Gang.”

Collaboration between Coffee Stain Studios and OVERKILL. Vlad has a new mission for the gang, but things quickly get more… complicated once they arrive at the scene. With this update we introduce a brand new two-day heist that is unlike anything we’ve done before. Together with this comes a new shotgun, four melee weapons, four masks, four patterns, four materials and finally two new tracks from Simon Viklund.

Check out the DLC website.

But hey, there’s more!

Have you ever wondered how making a bicycle race with a goat would be? Well, surprise surprise, in Goat Simulator you finally can! Wait, wait, wait… what is that ragdoll sitting over your little companion? Probably a funny glitch.

Ah… right. This game is a whole glitch itself! 😉

I mean, look at that! So fast, so graceful, so light!

Where can you get Goat Simulator?

The PC version and its additional content is available on Steam. Be sure to check the overall sales to eventually get everything for a very low price!

Conclusion: Goat is indeed a broken game where you can even climb a wall using a dolphin on a wheelchair and nothing makes sense anymore, but if you are a hardcore gamer this is definitely a MUST. Why? Because come on, who wouldn’t want to derp around with an immortal character you can swap with tons of different skins? 😀

Computer Requirements

Minimum: